Playwright Julia Pascal is the first of our 'Urgent Voices', key jewish cultural figures responding to the current crisis

SATURDAY 7 OCTOBER 2023 

The phone did not ring. The emails did not arrive. I have a large network of colleagues and friends who know that I am Jewish. I have written plays about Israel. And have worked with many artists on these projects. Not one contacted me after the invasion of Israel by Hamas on 7 October. 

My conversations over that weekend were only with Jews and Israelis as we tried to absorb what had happened. I watched the news like an addict; flicking from television to radio coverage. Something in me had shifted during that Saturday. The change happened after reading of women being raped and abducted. Of old people being stolen. Of babies being murdered. Of bands of armed men walking into Jewish settlements for a murder spree. Of living people set on fire.

But I was safe in London. Wasn’t I? Why was I feeling fragile? The phrase inner immigration came to mind.  Just as those under Soviet occupation could not leave the country  or talk freely; I could not express my thoughts except to Jews. But, in Britain, we are less than one per cent of the population and my main work interactions are with the gentile world. These were circles with whom I did not dare discuss what I was feeling after 10/10. It was clear to me from some of the reactions I was hearing that I must internalise my thinking. None of the people I was listening to in London were exploding about Hamas followers celebrating the murder of Jews or images of Hitler, which were painted on London’s walls. Although Jews suffered the biggest massacre in one day since the Holocaust, there was only silence.

Experience tells me that it is not safe to discuss Israel even in its agony as residual antisemitism is seamed into British culture and society. I could only talk about this with some of my own tribe but I hate tribalism. Yet what was I to do with these feelings of physical insecurity?  Social media is full of Jew-hatred.  In the past I have had bomb threats from the extreme right wing; I knew that the acceptance of Jews in England was certainly not total.

Is London safe?

Transmitted trauma can start in the nursery and the most important person in mine was Esther Jacobs, my Romanian Yiddish-speaking grandmother. My babyhood and toddler phase were mainly with her in Manchester. She spoke to me about pogroms. I learned the word as I learned English and it took me time to understand that the word is Russian. In this way, my knowledge of Jew-murder was planted early. She was talking of her parents’ experiences as they fled from Eastern to Central Europe. She was warning me that I should know about ‘pogrom’ which she pronounced as ‘programme’. This mistake used to make me smile. Now I wonder if she was right.

To distract myself from thinking about the images of kidnapped Jews I went to my usual Sunday morning yoga class. I arrived fighting the desire to sob. The gay, Welsh yoga teacher sensed something and asked me ‘are you alright?’ I muttered, ‘I am distressed about Israel’. And then the diatribe started as he lectured me. ‘I am not pro-Hamas or antisemitic but…’ You can guess the rest. What happened on Saturday October 10, is of course, the Jews’ fault. 

The silence went on during the week. Many of those in my  theatre circles are supporters of Free Palestine. They don’t all know what that means but carry the idyllic vision of a land that will be emptied of Jews and returned to Arab rule in the misconception that there was ever a free Palestinian state.  These English Left Wing liberals, and some are Jews, conveniently forget that Hamas allows no space for women’s equality or for homosexual love.  On this subject there is a collective amnesia.

By Monday, the death rate of Israelis was over a thousand. Nobody knows how many hundreds are kidnapped. News was filtering out about the murdered babies being beheaded ISIS style. If my colleagues and friends were silent what about my unions? Had they sent out any statements? The National Union of Journalists. Nothing. The Society of Authors. Nothing. The Writers Guild of Great Britain. Nothing. Of course, they cannot be seen to support Israel, it is too dangerous. It would alienate members who hated Israel. And Equity of course remained shtum. Equity has a murky history. Even though its leadership rightly champions gay rights, it sees no contradiction in marching for Gaza, as it did in May 2021, side by side with Hamas militants who would kill gays. Hamas had driven through London a few days before the march with loud hailers yelling Kill Jews and rape their daughters. Equity knew this but still attended the rally where they knew Hamas would be present.

Some years ago my French, gentile husband bought me a small gold Magen David as a necklace. I always hesitated to wear it in London. Now I wonder if I ever will.

By Julia Pascal

Julia Pascal is a playwright. Her latest drama 12:37, which is set in Dublin, London and Jerusalem under the British Mandate, has been published by Methuen Drama Bloomsbury and is available now. juliapascal.org